If PHP Were Norwegian

  • by Amando Abreu
  • on 12 May 2023

If PHP Were Norwegian

Imagine if your favorite coding language packed its bags, took a vacation to Norway, and then fell in love with the place. This is exactly what happened to PHP, the popular server-side scripting language, in our imagination. We present to you the result of this love affair: “NorskPHP” - PHP with a Norwegian twist.

1. The Logical Conditions

The if statement in PHP checks if a condition is true. But in NorskPHP, if has decided to embrace the Norwegian culture and has changed to hvis. The else statement, not wanting to be left out, has also transformed into ellers. Here’s how you’d check for an empty coffee cup in NorskPHP:

hvis ($kaffekopp == tom) {
    echo "Fyll opp kaffekoppen!";
} ellers {
    echo "Kos deg med kaffen!";

A cup of Norwegian coffee is never too far away in a coder’s life!

2. Loops? We Have ‘Sløyfer’

for, while, and do have been replaced with for, mens, and gjor. “Sløyfer” is the Norwegian word for “loops”. Here’s how you’d count from one to ten in NorskPHP:

for ($i = 1; $i <= 10; $i++) {
    echo $i . ", ";

Suddenly, counting from one to ten has a whole new Nordic feel!

3. Functions? Say Hello to ‘Funksjoner’

In NorskPHP, function has become funksjon. Here’s how you’d create a function to greet someone in Norwegian:

funksjon hilsen($navn) {
    return "Hei, " . $navn . "!";

echo hilsen("Ole");

Now you can greet Ole, your imaginary Norwegian friend, in style!

4. Switching to ‘Bytte’

The switch statement allows for different actions to be performed depending on different conditions. In NorskPHP, switch has changed to bytte. Here’s how you’d use it:

$vaer = "sol";

bytte ($vaer) {
    sak "sol":
        echo "Det er sol ute!";
    sak "regn":
        echo "Det regner ute!";
        echo "Jeg vet ikke hva været er!";

The weather just got a lot more interesting!

5. Errors? Let’s ‘Feil’

In NorskPHP, we don’t just “throw” errors, we kaste them. And when we catch them, we fange them.

prøv {
    kaste new Unntak("Noe gikk galt!");
} fange (Unntak $e) {
    echo 'Unntak fanget: ',  $e->getMessage(), "\n";

In conclusion, while we all love PHP for its power and flexibility, the concept of NorskPHP adds a certain Scandinavian charm to the coding experience.

About the author

Amando Abreu is a serial entrepreneur, Fractional CTO, and engineer who has been involved in several startups and launched dozens of products. He has worked with companies such as trivago, Portugal Telecom, and Vizrt. He has experience in several industries, most notably e-commerce, SaaS, media, travel, insurance, property development, and construction.
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